It has been quite the week here in Martha's Vineyard. I'm not gonna lie. Things were getting rough when I was serving in Boston. There was a quick turn of mood when I got to Martha's Vineyard, but that also started to decline. I was getting really, really frustrated with all sorts of things. Mostly, though, I was frustrated with myself. Then Sister Ford came, I finally got me feet grounded in this whole missionary-life, and the work started to become less like work and more like play!
GAH! We just got a text from the branch president's wife. She said that two deer are roaming in her backyard right now. OF COURSE! I've only been searching and scouring the land for a deer since I got here! I want to see one so bad! I trust whenever people tell me that deer can swim and that they somehow made their way to the island. But I won't really believe it until I see it for myself.
Ok, so see there I go. Being frustrated at nothing! Hahaha in all reality I knew that serving a mission would be hard. I am so aware of this that I expect every day to be hard and I think I'd actually be disappointed if it wasn't so hard. It isn't about what happens, it's how you handle it. But bottom line is that I am so happy right now. Martha's Vineyard is beautiful, we went down-island and saw the big waves and I breathed in all the salty mist I could hold on to, it's hot and wonderfully humid, the members are total angels, I'm learning, I'm growing, and more than anything I am so so so aware that the Lord is with me. When I'm happy I can feel him. When I'm discouraged it only takes a humble prayer to bring him right to my side. This is His work and I'd be a fool to try and do it without him!
INSULATION
not insulin, like I kept calling it on accident.
It's super messy. When we went to Habitat for Humanity the contractor handed me a can of insulation and said, "go to work". Ok, he gave slightly more direction than that. It looked easy enough; just squirt a little along here and it'll expand. Perfect. Put your right hand in put your right hand out and that's what it's all about! He left me alone with this can of Insulation and I went to work. First window. Complete beauty. Seriously I have never been so proud of myself. So I pick up and move to the next room. Disaster. I botched it so bad. I continued and it really just got worse and worse. I opened a new can and the pressure was having a hay-day just sprayin' away all over the place! there was a continuous flow of insulation for the next 20 minutes as I went from place to place filling in those gaps. I knew it was getting all over me but I didn't really have time to think about it. I opened another can and this one cracked at the top; another continuous flow. I insulated that whole house with my blood sweat tears and laughter. Down to the last crack of the last window. It was all over my shirt when I was done and it apparently doesn't come off. This was on Friday and today, Monday, sister Ford picked a big piece of yellow puffy insulation from my hair. 3 showers later.
JOAN
again. (see last weeks letter) Sunday morning came and she called us to say that she couldn't make it to church. We knew that it was inspired that President Brown thought of her to speak, and we knew that it was something that she needed to do. We have been growing closer to her over the weeks and we were so excited to see her stand and bare her testimony! When she told us she couldn't come my heart ached and I continued to pray that she would still make it. She didn't. I ended up giving her talk for her. It was about Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. During the sacrament I said a simple prayer, opened my scriptures, closed them, and then continued to ponder on the Lord and the Atonement. With as little preparation as I had put into this talk, I stood up and spoke for 8 minutes. I know that what I said was not solely from my own thoughts. You know how when the brethren speak at conference they are organized and constantly reference their talks back to a key phrase? That's how this talk was! I always like starting with a joke and I was able to think of one that applied to the topic. And then I kept referencing points from the joke to the principles of Faith. It was really fun! And it was all true. I used Peter 1:7 and Ether 12. The main point was that Faith is not believing in things as we want them to be. It's believing that God will take what we want, and what he knows we need, and giving us the best things in life we could hope for! It's having so much trust in him that even when things don't work out how we think they ought to... it doesn't mean he didn't hear our prayers. I ended up surprising myself by noticing that even though we knew this was good for Joan it wasn't a lack of faith that kept her from coming. Maybe now is not the time. Maybe she needs more time. Maybe she did lack faith and she needs more help before standing up to speak. But God knows all of this and there is no reason to be sad. Ever. Honestly, there is absolutely no reason to be sad. Just be encouraged to do better, to be better, to strive further and to reach higher. You WILL find what you're looking for. Every righteous desire that we have WILL be answered in time. He's promised us that.
So just like grumpy-pants me back in Boston, be happy! Don't let discouragement get you down! Don't let failure stop you from trying again. And always always always have faith. Always pray. I promise you'll find that everything is going your way :)
We're going to go find a field full of lambs. Byeeeee
LIFE IS A MISSION!
love
sister hileman
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