Surrender

OCEAN

here I come. Blue skies and sunshine. Ok I actually have no idea what it's going to be like but regardless of how unprepared I am - I'm going to MARTHAS VINYARD!  I am heading out tomorrow and I'm told that I'll "be there for quite awhile". There's some direction for ya! The house is "a dump. but you never complain so I know it'll be just fine!" and they've had ONE investigator in the past year so "I [president] hope you're up for the challenge". AND BOY AM I!!! The absolutely only tiny thing that I am sad about is leaving my little Spanish group here. They are gooooood people. The branch in Marthas Vinyard is only English and I'm going to have to work hard to not forget the spanish that I've learned. But to everything - I say Challenge Accepted. Desafillo Aceptado.

GUZMAN

Oh yeah, this sister in the ward gets her own bold-type title. Hermana Guzman has made the full transformation from member to member-missionary. The last time we took her out, if you'll remember back to last weeks email, she fell asleep and snored the whole time. That same day I had told her all about MY mom and how she's a missionary. How she volunteers at the MTC and helps others around her. I told her that while her son is serving a mission in California she can just as well serve one here! Sometime from then till now she realized something. We are all missionaries! Now she calls us every day, comes out with us whenever she can, visits people on her own, sends cards and supportive letters to people who are having hard times, and sends us friends who want to know more about the gospel! This morning she called and we had a good 5 minute conversation organizing some information she had given us. Then she said "... Hermana... cuando se va?" "manana" "Ohhh no." Then she told me thank you and "Dios este con tu, siempre" God be with you always. I told her I loved her and then we hung up. I'm so excited for her and can't wait to hear about all the good work she'll do!!! This work is almost impossible without the help of the members!

WE CAN'T SWIM!?!

I know, I know. Missionaries can't swim. I've always known this. But I think I just actually realized this. The other day Hna Van Wagenen and I were walking down a sunny street in the 98 and humid summer air when she said "I wish we could jump into a pool right now". That seemed to be the only reasonable thing to do right then. And it hit me.  "We can't swim?!?!" And now they're sending me to an island. Ay yi yi.

BOMS

Funny text we got from a Portuguese Elder back in April. The reason I never said anything before was because of the timeline of it all.... but I think that it's been long enough. At a showing of the Broadway play The Book of Mormon this elder was handing out copies of the actual book! (Also known as BOMS, especially when using text-language). The next day was Monday, the day of the Marathon Bombing. It wasn't until Tuesday that I looked back to the texts he had sent and realized how horribly hilariously horrible they were. They read:

"More than 200 boms away and we're still going!"

"They come to us for the boms. They ASK us for more boms!!"

Ohhhhh Elder. I laughed for about 5 minutes. "Boms away", hahahahahaha he had no idea what he was saying.

Too soon? Hopefully not.

HAND IT OVER

Our district leader gave us a really good talk to read last week. It's 25 pages long and it's called "The 4th Missionary". My companion and I read it and then he asked us to give a training on it. I have never learned so much in my life.

I finally learned how to be a good missionary. It's to give everything to God. "Unconditional surrender". I love the word "Surrender" because I think of Bravehart. But besides that, it is such a strong word. Completely give up. Give it all. Never back down. Never surrender.

There are different types of missionaries but the best and only way to be a missionary is to be the 4th missionary. The 4th missionary surrenders all his desires and wants and opinions to God and says "What do you want me to do? I'll do it."

I have been worried about coming home a robot return sister missionary clone. I had it in my mind that I'd serve and grow and change and learn, but when I came home I'd be "me" just stronger. I realized this week that I won't come home a robot no matter what. God's not gonna drop me off the plane and say "good luck! Hope every date for the rest of your life is awkward". No. He's gonna send me home and say "now you're ready". If I give myself completely to him, completely to this work, and surrender my opinions... if I surrender to change, then he will change me for the better. He can take all of my attributes and all of my strengths and weaknesses and shape me into a true disciple of christ. And that is the only way I want to live.

So I surrendered. And then he took me from where I was comfortable and sent me to train another new missionary in a place I've never been in an area that has little succes. And guess what? I'm STOOOOOKED! Seriously. No fears. It helps that I'm going to the Hawaii of the East Coast :)

love you all

love love love

love your face. love your laugh. love your comments. love your talents. love your jokes. love your family. love your smiles. Go show 'em!

LIFES A MISSION

might as well surrender

:)

Hermana Hileman