Boston Marathon

Aloha friends and family,

It is a bright and sunny Tuesday morning here in Boston, MA with flowers blooming (even though some of them are clearly fake!) and baby birds chirping. When I woke up this morning it was hard to recollect everything from the past few days. It felt like any other day. But it's different.

It's hard to know what is actually happening out there because we have no connection to the news or internet. Honestly, you probably know more than we do. With or without the details the feelings are very strong. So I guess I'll just tell you about the day.

BOSTON MARATHON

Suuuper exciting stuff! Runners from all around the world qualify for this race. The best of the best of the best, and then any local Boston runners are welcome to participate as well (because they're the best already :p ) The entire district met up at a Subway Station and rode downtown together. It was incredible to see all of the volunteers working together prepping the finish line for the first Elite Runners to cross! Bus after bus after bus went by holding all of their prizes and post-run goodies. People overflowed the gutters to the sidewalks to the very mortar of the brick walls of Boylston Street, the final stretch of the race. We were standing in front of a Hotel just one block down from the finish line when the first Elite Woman crossed. Totally awesome! The crowd roared and cheered and hollered for her! I'm tiny and could barely catch the occasional bobbing head of a runner, but I could tell whenever someone was passing by because you could hear the cheering begin from the left and work it's way up till it got right in front of you, and then finally explode at the end of the line when they crossed and reunited with their family and loved ones. It. Was. Incredible. There were runners young and old, from all different countries, there was a blind runner, and a midget runner, and we even saw two people pushing someone in a wheelchair through the race! Each person had their own story to tell and they were telling it through every step they took, proving their strength and power to overcome. 

Some of the missionaries had an investigator that was running and was almost reaching "Heartbreak Hill", a point in the Marathon where basically if you make it there, you're going to finish. It's the top of the last hill, making 5 total. From then on it's downhill and smooth sailing. We hopped on the Subway and started navigating to Heartbreak Hill when I copped out and asked to go home. You see, I had been horribly sick the day before. Knowing how badly my companion wanted to go to the race and not wanting to miss out myself, I sucked it up and ventured out on this P-day activity. But by 2:00 I was done for. I couldn't stand up straight and my insides were pounding and begging to become my outsides. Not pretty, eh? My companion lovingly took me home. As soon as I could I climbed back into bed and fell into a deep deep sleep.

The next thing I know it's 6PM and I hear the other sisters returning. There's noise in the family room and so I get up to hear their stories from the rest of the race! Did they see their Investigator friend? Did they see Heartbreak Hill? How many people crossed the line? They showed us the pictures they took but pretty soon I could tell there was something I didn't know. Hermana Brown, my companion, even seemed to know what was up. While I was sleeping, at 2:50, two bombs went off in downtown Boston. One right at the finish line, and one right where we had been standing and cheering just a few hours before. Christine, their investigator, was 1/4 mile from the finish line when she heard an explosion. Thinking it was fireworks, she continued to run towards the goal! Quickly she noticed all of the runners being pushed in a different direction and the chaos was making people trip over themselves and each other. In the commotion, having no idea what was happening, she felt the severity of the situation kick in immediately. She hopped a fence and ran home. 1/4 mile from the finish line. When she got home all of her roommates had already left the house leaving a note that they had gone to the hospital to volunteer. The other missionaries gathered together to watch the news from a window-tv at an electronics store. They said what they saw was horrible, and seeing the same place that we had just stood in complete shambles shook them. The sisters particularly were having a hard time with it. The Zone Leaders called while I was sleeping and said "Sister Brown, are you two ok?" 

We are all very blessed to not have been there. Christine's goal was to cross the line at 3PM. Had we decided to see her cross we would have been standing at that same spot at 2:50 when the first bomb went off. We are blessed that all the missionaries returned home safely. I'm sure you know the numbers just as well if not more than I do. A lot of people were effected by this. It is a pretty nasty thing. The whole downtown area is blocked off as a crime scene. There's a lot of sirens and a whole lot of helicopters. We're blocked from a lot of the people we normally visit. It's a normal day. But it's different.

MY PERSPECTIVE is not quite as solemn. Last night my companion and I were laying in bed talking about it and I was having a difficult time describing it. Throughout the evening I could feel the fear and... well... confusion, that the other sisters felt. In my journal I wrote "I dont' know if I'm heartless, or if I'm dumb. But this isn't effecting me the same way that it's effecting everyone else around me. I realize the severity of this, I understand the numbers, I recognize the danger, I'm sad and heartbroken, I'm shocked. I feel like I've already grasped the reality and it simply just doesn't shake me." Last night I felt like I was almost missing out because everyone had a normal human reaction to this awful tragedy and I seemed to be unaffected emotionally. I felt heartless.

As I fell asleep I remembered something that happened last Fall. There was a Tsunami in North Shore Oahu (see LIFEISGOOD blog) and just like any other Tsunami, it was the same drill. Gather the valuables and find somewhere safe to go. For some reason I was having a hard time figuring it out. I had been planning on going to a friend's concert at Turtle Bay so my car was full of people that lived all over. Each person in the car had different friends and wanted to go to a different place to find refuge for the night's storm. I called a friend's cousin, Kendra, to make sure she was OK and even stopped by her house to see if she had plans or needed a place to go. She was going to hike up the hill behind the Temple. I dropped everyone off and made my way back to my shack. On the way, as I drove alone, I was hit with genuine fear. I called a good friend on the mainland who had gone through these Tsunami Evacuations before and tried to talk myself through it. I had done this before, and I wasn't scared then. Why was I scared now? I'm normally never scared. I know what I packed last time. Why was it hard to know what to bring now? I remembered where I went last time. Why not just go there now? Finally I shut up for a second and my friend said, "Emily. Where do youthink you should go?" "I need to go back to Kendra's and go hike up behind the Temple." "Ok. Go do it!" And just like that I wasn't scared. 

Last night I figured out what had conquered that fear. I knew where to go. 

I realized that the reason why I'm not scared now is because I still know where to go! I know God's plan and I'm not afraid because I don't fear anything on this Earth. I don't fear anyone in this World. If you're a member and you know what I'm talking about, go read D&C 58:26-27. God trusts us to make our own decisions, and he gives us that blessing so that we can chose for ourselves to do right or wrong. If we do things of our own free will and it brings about righteousness... guess what? It's God's Will too! He trusts us! Why be afraid if you know you've got the support of the coolest, most loving, most supportive, kind, Father in Heaven. IF you're not a member and you have no idea what I'm talking about, go to www.mormon.organd search "eternal plan".

When I got on today to write this email my mom sent me a letter that really touched me. Part of it said "You will be a great help to everyone around you because of your experience in understanding what it takes to endure. " I definitely don't have all that it takes, and I definitely make mistakes daily when it comes to doing what's ride. But knowing HOW to endure? I've got that. I don't brag of myself or my own talents at all. God has guided me through rough times, just like He has for all of us. Time and time again He has pushed me through trials and even when I messed up I was still able to make it through! I've gone through emotional turmoil, so when everyone around me is crying the tears just simply don't come. I've gone through physical turmoil, so when a comatose patient is choking up stomach goop I don't gag.  I've gone through Natural turmoil so that when storms come, I'm ready in an instant to help others around me. Terrorist Attacks... now this was new for me. But still, I wasn't afraid. And it's because of what my mom told me. 

I sound like I'm bragging but I promise I'm not, I'm just thankful to be here, to be safe, and to be active and ready to help people around me. No matter what they need!

I need to go now but I love you all so much!

More fun emails to come, promise.

LIFE IS A MISSION

Hermana Hileman

picture 1: a subway station 

2: a flower 

3: my companion and I today, dressed like Mary kate and ashley!

One last thing. My mom told me that many people were calling her and praying for us out here yesterday. If I could look at each of you in the eyes and say "Thank You" it wouldn't mean enough, still. Know how much your prayers mean! I love you all so much! 

I wanted to get my email up on the blog so that you can contact me easier. emily.hileman@myldsmail.net

I was hesitant to do this because I don't have much time to email. But the thing is... well.. I gosh darn love every one of you! So Stephanie, could you put it up under "Contact Me"?